Movie Reviews

i wish more than all wishes that i could blog about last night. but first i need to fess up to my mom.

i also wish for more wishes.

today began with ihop, a bear necessity. there were a few awkward bathroom encounters that are better told in person. we all realized we didn't want to move or do anything all day, so i suggested we go to the movies. and never leave.

an ideal plan because it encompassed comfortable seating, sleep possibilities, food (including hot dogs), multiple bathrooms and we all needed to catch up on pop culture.

1. princess and the frog

excellent all around. i was too drunk to understand what the firefly was saying. luckily, however, the 5 year old behind me somehow had every word memorized. too disoriented to fathom how this was possible or how much money her parents must make, i dreamed up the first prototypes of a child muzzle that will be hitting walmarts near you in 2021. the only part i didn't like was when i thought they were going to stay frogs forever. thank god they turn back into humans (SPOILER ALERT)! and the shadow things scared the crap out of me. rate that shit PG-13 please...

2. it's complicated

this was a very complicated film. i also found it to be convoluted, difficult, elaborate, entangled, fancy, gasser, hard, hi-tech, interlaced, intricate, involved, knotty,labyrinthine, mega factor, mixed, perplexing,problematic. but don't judge a book by its cover! that guy from "the pink panther" did a great job. this movie also has a lot of food and emotion in it, so come prepared to eat your feelings. which brings me to the "what i ate" segment of this post:

1 nachos, 1 hot dog, 1 large popcorn, 1 bunch-a-crunch (blast from the past?!) and 3 large cokes.

LARGE.

i was hopped up like no other. i tried to get a different drink the third time - i said "i got the wrong thing, could i get a coke zero?" because my regular coke tasted like hairspray. the guy left my normal coke in there and topped it off with coke zero.

mix drink nastiness central.

3. alvin & the chipmunks: the squeakuel

hands down BEST FILM OF 2010. gettin the soundtrack fo sho. being attracted to chipmunks was confusing, but there were also a lot of asians in the film so i got what i needed human-wise. we had planned to leave halfway through to catch avatar in 3D (my favorite type of movie), but it was so good that we stayed. i doubt i will ever see avatar because everyone i know has already formulated an opinion for me - "BEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN, DUDE!"

i feel comfortable having avatar conversations with the best of them.

that's all you need to know about goings-on in the world. if you go see sherlock holmes, be sure to have your ticket ready to present to the usher. we got kicked out, but 7 hours were well-spent today. i might even be so daring as to call it the best day of this decade!