Family Bonding

Nothing says "functional family" like buying hot dogs in bulk at the Costco cafeteria and then eating them on a display table in the furniture section next to the massive cartons of spring water. They even bothered to get shopping carts to pose as valuable customers.

"This is almost like having a real dining room, Mommy!"

Also featuring my hair.

TINO

And now huggies brings us jeans, encouraging pedophiles everywhere to disregard boundaries. Note that they are for a limited time only.

What My Brain Tells Me

The dreams I have when I go to bed at 5 in the morning, after a night of whiskey, vodka...and pickle juice.

The dream began with me still at the bar. Naturally, the bar was pretty empty considering bars close an hour before this dream began. My roommate "forced" me to drink whiskey. A lot of whiskey. In the basement of the bar, there was this weird bed that was actually a shower. Lots of old women were around, and I was wearing cowboy boots which I ruined in the weird bed shower. Oddly, the basement led outside where a wedding was taking place. I commented on how weird this was to a woman standing next to me who had a young daughter. Everyone was dressed like it was the colonial times, and the wedding party wore black hipster clothes with navy blue accessories. (Sarah Smith, what are your thoughts on this being bridesmaid attire?). ALL OF A SUDDEN I was transported to a concert. Felicia was there, and we were both super pissed that Eminem wasn't performing at this concert, even though he wasn't supposed to. In the distance, we could see real dinosaurs that were inflatable. On my way out of the concert, I saw another young girl/mom duo. Maybe it was the same one. We discussed Clifford the dog, and then he immediately ran by at lightning speed behind the little girl's back. I chose not to tell her that she had just missed the most important moment of her life.

It must have been the pickle juice.

The Truth

The meaning of this blog is completely embodied in this one photograph. Notice the tanline, and the ass cheeks literally hanging out. God, I love New York!

Skeletor!!! I have the sudden urge to start wearing sunscreen.

Lazy Friday

A few things to get off my chest:

What is pasta salad other than just regular pasta that your mom left in the fridge overnight?

Yesterday I ate a meal at Dave & Buster's but I didn't play any games. I live in a city with a street called Restaurant Row.

I have now watched the Goblet of Fire three times. Today.

I'm about to enter my senior year and I've only had ONE hot professor. This hardly seems fair. But oh, Professor Lawler...I liked your lemur tattoo.

What is a Wayans Brother?

Movies I haven't seen:

1. Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

2. The Godfather

3. Fight Club

4. Top Gun

5. All Indiana Jones films

6. Bridget Jones' Diary

7. The Sixth Sense

8. Jaws

9. Austin Powers

10. Terminator movies

Movies I have seen:

1. All Disney/Pixar creations except G-Force (what WAS that?!)

...in 2D of course.