Here Goes Nothin!

moving up the big city asap. shout out to comical radio for giving me an internship! probably the tightest gig i could ever dream for. check em out!

making money, however, is slightly necessary for survival. here are the jobs i've applied for so far!

1. dog walker. i would make bank off of all the rich people in new york, and do next to nothing. i like dogs, and i am really good at frisbee. good to go.

2. nanny. craigslist is like a gold mine. let me watch your kids! i'm a good speller and i can cook spaghettios! but i don't know how to ride a bike, and i don't know what a "nick jonas" is.

3. mysterious blog assistant. i answered this posting on craigslist where the requirements are knowing what "roflcopter" and a meme are. i think i'm good to go. it would be me hanging out with a woman in her home researching weird nerdy things on digg. hey, if you're reading this, hire me!

4. storyteller. yes, that is a real job. i would have to wear a costume and tell children stories at a museum. for a whopping $15 an hour. this is why new york is called the city of dreams. or the big apple. it has many names, all of which are good, some of which are lies.

come visit me! especially if you go to JMU and haven't seen someone who isn't white in 4 years.

It's Going Well

GIVE ME THIS:

dream job

the hunt for a summer internship in new york continues...it's nice to know that somewhere, out there, a group of nice people can't wait to use me as free and brutal labor for the next three months. i've already found a few companies that look hilarious!

Rogue Talent Group listing: "We are a busy group of people. If we feel there is a fit, then we will contact you. If you contact us, then you will be eliminated. If you match our criteria, then submit please. This will be a test to those that follow directions well. Good luck. "

i'm going to call them just to make sure!

Tips

if you want everything you cook to immediately look hideous and outdated, buy Rachel Ray's new bakeware collection. as if awful t-shirts weren't enough, she's now ruining the world by mass producing this garish set of lasagna holders.

Well...I'm Back

after a long hiatus due to a newfound realization that graduation is imminent and i must attend classes, i am back to meet the needs of biddies and biddie-lovers everywhere. having gotten straight c's, i am fully prepared to do absolutely nothing serious this summer. i also plan to figure out how to upload pictures from my cell phone and join my generation in technological obsession.

and now, in true biddiewatch fashion, i bring you 3 appropriate things.

1. a biddie.

this was actually taken when it was freezing cold outside. note that she is wearing shorts with uggs. the strategic hoodie placement is an attempt at canceling out the absurd choice to wear booty shorts at 1 AM on a cold evening. oh, and is she buying natty?

2. something clearly stupid.

reason #426 why doing your everyday shopping at CVS is a poor choice. even a bonuscard can't save you from the tragic misspelling this poor sign suffers from.

in case you yourself can't spell, the word spelled wrong is "clearance".

3. something crazy.

folks, what you're looking at is $195.65 of cat food and $0 of human food. this is what we call a CAT LADY. in addition to the extravagant amount she is purchasing, she has also kindly offered her cats some variety - giant bags of dry food, small cans of wet food, and huge cans of more nasty wet cat food. this checkout process took almost 20 minutes, but i was perfectly content basking in the glow of crazy to find out the total. even at Walmart it's expensive to own 600 cats and live alone and not feed yourself.