Swine Flu

today i took my friend stephanie to the hospital because she was feeling really sick. i thought i had a cold, so i decided to get checked out too.

turns out i have swine flu.

i honestly would not have gotten checked out if i didn't already have to go there.

so i'm on tamiflu. it should help decrease symptoms, but side effects include death.

...

they gave me an instructional packet and a note to miss school for 5 days. actually they forbade me to go anywhere for 5 days. the packet reminds me to wear my seatbelt.

...

and tells me what to do if i have lost my spleen.

that's not a joke.

"if you have lost your spleen...go see a doctor."

there is no hope for me.

Weather

a few nights ago i had a dream that i was in some elaborate magical place, not unlike super mario galaxy. it was imperative that my companions and i eat something in order to survive and before us appeared a 711-esque shelf. our only options were any variety of those toast-chee crackers - pb&j, cheddar peanut butter, cheese on cheese...

and they all cost the same amount. 69 cents. even large packages.

in other news, i saw my breath tonight when i stopped to get gas. go away!

My Life Is Enchanted?

what you are about to hear/see is true, although the photo quality may lead you to believe otherwise.

last week as i was traveling to my vehicle from school, i had to pass by the construction site for the performing arts building. i'm used to seeing weird things here, such as sloppy joe delivery trucks and cyborg construction men. but none of this prepared me for what happened next. i heard some scurrying, and i saw a woodland creature running away from me between tires and hunks of metal. i thought it was sonic the hedgehog at first, but then the truth was revealed.
a real, live BEAVER.
with a blue tail.
it is currently living in a burrow made from plastic pieces and tarps.
and it has a blue tail.
it is very fast.
but responds to the name quinton.

that is its head.

if you look very closely you will see its buck teeth. and BLUE TAIL. note its elaborately constructed burrow.

Textbook Malfunctions

mistake #1:
GENG American Lit. Class
"Well!," ejaculated Miss Miller. (She proceeds to "lower her parasol" - to block something, perhaps?)
^ compliments of Brittany Young.

what's wrong?
a woman is ejaculating.

mistake #2:
French Class
american in example: karine aspel
frenchman in example: james davidson
^ compliments of me actually doing homework.

what's wrong?
unrealistic. call me racist.