Amish Online Dating

my good friend shannon came across the following website:

http://amish-online-dating.com/

i am pretty positive that it's not real (although one can dream). obviously upon this discovery, i immediately created an account. it took the about 12 hours to send me a confirmation email, which makes me doubt their validity. they finally got back to me, and here is what i have to fill out to create my profile:

Create Your Profile

One more step: tell the people on AmishOnlineDating.com - Vista 2nd Edition more about yourself. Questions marked with a lock are private and only visible to administrators.

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Full Name *

Profile Photo *

Upload a Photo (GIF, JPG or PNG; limit 10MB)

What is the tradition behind the amish beard explain.? *

What would be the perfect amish date? *

How familar are you with lanterns? *

What's your favorite amish sport? *

What is your favorite electronic toy device? *

Who or What would you expect at a amish laugh festival in Hollywood, *

Do you want us to notify you when your photo is on our front page ?!? [links to your twitter.com/yourname] *Private

Would you want a hand made Amish Online Dating Tshirt? [$9] 1 - 4 week ship. *Private

Would you want a hand made Apod? [$89] 1 - 4 week ship. *Private

If Corn Husk 4 your mom is carrying 8 eggs with in his blue trousers, at 5:20 in the morning while jogging at a speed of 12 miles an hour, southwest in sandels, then stops and has a colorful corn conversation with mary jo's sisters, best friends, aunts, daughters, mother... How many eggs would Jacob Husk have eatin? *Private

thoughts?

Wolf Obsession Continues...

http://www.everythingwolf.com/shop/productdetails.aspx?ProductID=886

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE HOME GOODS!

actually they're boring, but the jackets are CLUTCH.

"Beautiful howling graphics"

"Let your Children keep toasty warm with the Wolves"

"You could nestle right in between them"

mm...wolf motorboating?

NIKE GOT COOLER?!

in case you didn't know, something cooler than dunks now exists thanks to nike.com.

go there now. watch the video with the puppets. you'll be glad.

this is coming from someone whose livejournal username was "puppetburner".

...i was in middle school.

Weekly Pic Picks

best license plate (my favorite blog theme):

it says "1WARLOK" and this guy has a massive beard. even his suspenders are camo. does he know what a warlock is? i think i met a real witch once. i bet everyone has and just doesn't know it.

a leopard lovers moment:

for those of you that don't know, that is my stepdad. this is the most normal thing he has ever done. i wish i was kidding.

...really.

oldest mohawk sighting (a title i wish was more commonplace):

with a cameo by the other leopard lover, my mom. thanks for helping to make this phonepic less obvious. this guy was ancient and a bonified badass.

and the moment you have all been waiting for...

chicken purse. I AM READY FOR 2010!!! and a quick update - i recently mentioned that i thought my mom was getting me a seal for christmas. i came to this suspicion because said gift had to be delivered on foot and seemed to be very secretive and blackmarket-related.

it actually turned out to be a competition hula hoop.

champion ahoy.

May All Your Dreams Come True

jackpot:

http://www.everythingwolf.com/shop/productslist.aspx?CategoryID=11

what i got for christmas:

a purse made out of a rubber chicken

"sense and sensibility"

a poncho

best discovery:

my neighbors own a peacock

best decoration:

happy holidays to you and yours (even the blacks)!

Sweet Little Golden-Haired Baby Jesus

i'm a little drunk.

i ate a lot of ham.

my parents just got a strobe light and handcuffs as christmas presents from their friends.

illegal fireworks are about to commence.

christmas, eve, ya'll.

Holly Jolly

best news report quote of snowmageddon:

"people are WALKING in the STREETS"

what a panic these past few days have been for the general populus of northern virginia. other states actual prepare for this kind of weather...only here does school get canceled simply if it's too cold or there is torrential rain. imagine what happens in an ACTUAL weather emergency.

i decided that all traffic laws became void. if anyone has seen the riot scene in "hot rod", therein lies my inspiration. i also imagined i was in "day after tomorrow" a lot, which worked really well because i've never actually seen the film. i mean, the snow plowing contraptions only cleared one lane on three or four-lane roads and completely disregarded the yellow lines. even the double ones! which led me to do the following:

1. not stop at any stop sign

2. go as fast as possible on unplowed roads, imaging exploration of foreign tundras. this led to driving on the wrong side of the road if said part of road was more plowed than others.

3. turn LEFT on red

4. park in a bus lane

5. not pay for my parking meter...for 6 hours

6. almost rear end someone

7. drive through a 4 foot deep river created by melted snow

8. forsake snow plows and floor it

9. honk and bully people until i get what i want

10. cross four lanes at once to make an exit, and cross two lanes in dc to make an illegal right turn

and i didn't get in trouble. at all. and i'm positive cops witnessed some of this.

what i'm trying to say is...if you didn't break any laws in the past few days, you missed a golden opportunity.

This Just In...

this snow storm (which will be in steady continuation for the next 12 hours) is now being called "snowmageddon" and "snowpocalypse".

i like to call it "holy shit that's a lot of snow and i'm starting to get bored".

http://www.americablog.com/2009/12/snowpocalypse.html

Blizzarded In

good old northern virginia...

luckily i don't hate it here, because it looks like i am stuck here for at least the rest of my life.

(i really do hate it, but i'm going for "positive thinking" so that santa gives me presents).

12 inches and still going strong!

things i plan to do in the snow today:

1. avoid it

2. get bored of that, make a music video of "all i want for christmas" with at least 4 gay guys

3. eat it

4. pretend to drown in it

5. rescue myself

6. take a nap. inside. not in the snow. this isn't really part of the list.

Start Spreadin the Newzzz

just got to scottsville, which took a really long time because i took I-81 NORTH and not south...

went to new york for the weekend with jack, glen and katie. i love it there and cannot wait to get out of the burg... although the burg has plenty of crazies, new york always tops them.

top 3:

1. as i was getting off the subway, a man holding a child's plastic suitcase shouted "MAGAZINE!!!" at me. i wasn't sure what this meant, so i turned around. he was just smiling and waving at me.

2. some man shouted "hey" at katie. she looked at him. he asked, "do you have a towel?" ..."a what?" "a TOWEL" and started rubbing his own arm.

3. as i was going down the subway steps, a man asked me to be his girlfriend. he was very determined and tried following me but didn't have a subway card.

the man that asked me what shampoo i use gets an honorable mention.

this was probably my favorite new york trip so far because we were on absolutely no schedule. our group split up a lot to meet other friends or do something different. glen wasn't around much because he was visiting lost colony buddies at wagner on staten island. one morning when we were walking around central park, he kept calling us but when we called back it went straight to voicemail.

we came to the conclusion that his phone was dying and he was trying really hard to get a hold of us. finally, we got to talk to him. he only had enough battery left to spit out "I'M AT A STARBUCKS!". probably the most vague clue you could ever give in the big apple.

i never saw him again, but i'm sure he's fine.

Play With Me

i need a baby animal. right now. i want a kitty or puppy to play with and cuddle with and who eats all of my homework. the fact that i am wishing this during finals week tells a lot about my baby animal need. i won't even get mad when people comment on my profile picture of said animal to say "i can haz cheezburger?" and other annoying things.

obviously a baby seal would be ideal.

mom: if you are reading this, you should know i have a shopping cart that i am more than willing to convert into a portable seal carrier in the form of a rolling bathtub.

this post was necessary because i recently found out that my christmas gift cannot be mailed and is being delivered on foot through a chain of mutual friends...

leading me to believe it must be a portable, not to mention illegal, creature of an adorable nature.

Exam Edition

i personally enjoy the whiteboards around campus. this one is entertaining due not only to "lisa" and her actions, but the reference to a great youtube video that jean smith was obsessed with.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA

the red writing was already there, but i added the orange ("save the children, but not the british children!"). also notice someone reminiscing about thanksgiving, and an attempt at spelling "radiation" phonetically.

another great whiteboard sighting was found in one of carrier's study rooms. it stated:

"china

- caused the great wall to happen"

and that's it. both inaccurate and too brief to be of any use on a test.

so, i wish all you readers good luck during this last week of the semester, and all you other non-student readers a beautiful exam-free week. be on the lookout for mental breakdowns, unusual amounts of snow, and other unacademic whiteboard writings. i'll be taking a brief hiatus from watching biddies because i need a 100% on my exam to pass my class.

peace and love!