You Wanted to Know...

http://breezejmu.org/2010/01/14/students-share-passion-for-blogging/

check out this sweet article written by Caitlin Hardgrove! biddiewatch's first publicity stunt.

in other news, start listening to WXJM 88.7 at noon on mondays for my americana show! dj a-money in the house.

now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

i am about to relate to you a tale. a tale of bravery, escape, danger...and most of all, complete and utter debauchery.

my favorite holiday is new year's. picture this: alcohol, friends, little to no social pressure of gift-giving, giant sparkly balls, loud music, making out, and sometimes an entire baked honey ham. how can you not love that? beats me. so in honor of this beautiful man-made holiday based on our fabricated concept of time, i like to have a little rager. it has steadily progressed in levels of insanity over the past seven years. and if that is the exponential trend, i don't think i can ever do this again.

i had the party at my house in woodbridge. it's currently off the market, but there is still no furniture in it...perfect party house. please keep in mind that this party was the leopard lovers' idea. i only invited a few people on facebook because i didn't feel like typing in people's names. at first people thought this meant it was a small event. then they realized i'm just lazy, so word spread like wildfire. i would guestimate through my blurry memories that about 80 people showed up (at its highest point) to my small townhouse.

along with these 80 people was present AT LEAST the following:

15 bottles of champagne

7 handles of liquor

11 cases of beer

5 bottles of wine

and god KNOWS what else.

if you have anything to say about this night, leave it in the comment box. i can only tell you what i know, and it's not much. but let's fastforward to 1 am. kevin gillingham and his buds were on their way to their car to [###########]. on their way, kevin was kissing everyone in sight and saying happy new year. one of these people ended up being a girl from my high school who now attends jmu. unfortunately...she has a boyfriend. kevin claims said kiss was on the cheek, and will probably make this bold claim til his dying day, but that is irrelevant. erin's boyfriend hulks out like no other, and a fight ensues.

i am completely and blissfully unaware that 30 people are outside brawling. i am gallavanting around in a leather dress taking shots of tequila.

until the police show up.

everyone runs inside yelling that the cops have arrived. then we all sit in silence, trying to decide what to do, while the music is still blaring and the cops are attempting to break down the door. at some point i have changed into "pajamas" - consisting of flannel sweatpants, a black bra revealed by white see-through long underwear, somebody's tie, and no shoes. amongst all the advice thrown at me, i only pick out and agree upon one thing. to go outside and be honest with them.

i'm not 21, but i do it anyway.

i don't even remember walking down the stairs, but i do remember my interaction with the two cops. and the glaring porch light. i was too drunk to stand or keep my eyes open, so i lean on the side of the house.

me: helloooooo officers. what seems to be the trouble?

them: THERE WAS A NOISE COMPLAINT WHO ARE YOU! (they were so loud and mean)

me: this is my house. i am SO sorry, just please let us go and i promise we will quiet down.

them: WE KNOW THERE IS UNDERAGE DRINKING GOING ON HERE! (can i get my braces of yet? i am twenty for godsakes)

me: no...listen. i'm twenty one.

...no i'm not.

WAIT. yes i am!

them: ...yeah? YOU'RE 21?! let us inside, show us your id.

me: uh okay.

on my way inside i remember thinking/saying "we're all going to jail". amidst the crowd, i make my way upstairs to get my wallet. but on the way i make the decision that a better option would be to just hide. so i go in my mom's room, turn off the light and lock the door, and sit there in silence. meanwhile, the following:

my best friend tracey, who remembers nothing after ELEVEN, is throwing up and doesn't believe that the cops are here so she is also shouting.

the cops are banging on the door, and i am making shifty eyes and not answering.

they ID everyone they can find...only to realize that this is NOT a high school party and most people are actually of age.

i say "everyone they can FIND" because 12 people are in the basement hiding out in a miniature storage closet with a case of beer and half a cookie. to survive. ie, they are ann frankin' it like NO OTHER. my mom nicknamed this party the alcoholocaust before it even began...i don't think she has ever said anything more accurate.

another fight breaks out in the backyard and the police run out there to break it up. my friend harry (who would like me to inform everyone that he is well-endowed and brave) starts running, thinking this is a good idea. the cops see him and make assumptions about drugs, and a highspeed footrace through the forest ensues. from my room i can see the police spotlights hitting the blinds and casting shadows. the world is ending.

they find joe and some girl and ask them if they are 21. joe says yes, she says no at the same time. the cops catch on, and ask for id's. joe is 20, he gives them his. they don't even believe he's 20 (why would you want a fake that says you are 20?).

them: you know the drinking age is 21 right?

him: uh yeah...

them: so why are you drinking?

him: i dunno. IT'S NEW YEAR'S.

them: fair enough

then...apparently they left. and as soon as they do, they get another noise complaint and come RIGHT BACK. with backup. so now there are two cruisers, and four cops searching my house.

now harry's sister is shouting at them, "i'm a law student and what you are doing is not right!"

then some other stuff happened that i am completely unaware of, but all of a sudden they were gone. we kept raging until 7 am. extremely unsure as to why i didn't get a fine OR go to jail.

oh wait, i know why...

because 2010: THE SHIT, BABY!