biddiewatch video blog.
i plan on auditioning for things on campus that i have absolutely no experience in. tune in to see me audition for mozaic this thursday!
(mozaic = badass hip hop dance group. i got the kicks, but i ain't got the swagga.)
the other day i waited for brittany to go to the bathroom in walmart, which is an adventure in and of itself. as i was waiting, i noticed that they put item recalls on a nearby bulletin board. i began to read, and made some horrific discoveries:
as if we didn't poison the ocean enough, this boogie board contains excessive amounts of lead. what looks like a harmless water transportation device is really a silent killer amongst children that convince their parents to purchase such souvenirs. or amongst children that are too stupid to swim in a public pool. in which case we may as well eliminate them.
now we move on to an item i actually own. woops. this item was recalled because overheating of the water tank could lead to a FIRE HAZARD. thank you walmart - i never would have categorized an iron as a fire hazard.
it is really too bad they recalled these shoes, because they are comfortable and JMU-y. i would know because i purchased them a year ago. and they just now decided to recall them because (gasp) the heel could potentially break off and cause you to fall.
...
i wonder if they sent this memo to victoria's secret. probably the models all wear sneakers on the runway now. safety first.
i saved the most disturbing for last. "a pressure build-up can cause the machine to suddenly come apart, possibly leading to injury." yes, folks, this coffeemaker will SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST. in my opinion, the only legitimate recall. meanwhile, the government must brainstorm another way to assassinate coffee-loving communist dictators throughout the world.
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