Some Consideration

things that are real that should not be:

1. http://www.crayola.com/products/splash/outdoor/3dchalk.cfm

3D chalk.

if you've seen the commercial, you probably thought you were high. sailboats and butterflies are flying around children wearing 3D glasses. obviously, i needed to know if this was real. i had my doubts, but knew that if it was unsuccessful i at least had a day of drunken glory ahead of me.

it is the most real thing ever.

literally, everything pops out at you and you want to just put your hand underneath it. but you can't. unlike magic eye, chalk does not propel you into another dimension.

i drew murals with friends for a good hour just because it looked so sweet. we realized that playing with chalk is really kindof hard work...you bend over at awkward angles and scrub at the sidewalk. in the process, you turn your hands a combination of pastel colors that you can either deal with until a sink is found or rub all over yourself...making your clothes the same attractive shades.

verdict: my children will play with chalk. they will end up exhausted. and all i have to do is hose them off or whatever.

2. Dance Your Ass Off

premieres monday june 25th.

i cannot really explain this. it is a new show on oxygen that is a hybrid of the biggest loser and dancing with the stars. so...they put fat people in crazy outfits made of mesh and sparkles and make them jiggle what they've got for the world to see. they look happy now...but they won't be when they see themselves. i refuse to believe that this show's purpose is healthy weightloss when all i can see is overweight people looking absolutely ridiculous. catchphrases like "drop the milkshake and shake what your momma gave you" further confirm this.

i know i won't be able to watch this because it is probably hilarious. and i'm trying to maintain my belief that this is wrong.

more later.