Needs More Eggnog

the other night i went to ham's after the note-oriety concert with lisa and emma. we were wearing our black dresses, bedroom slippers and flannel shirts because we forgot to bring coats. while eating a cookie skillet, a guy came to our table and sat next to me. he was trying to win a bet with his buddies that he would sit at our table for over a minute. i knew this would be a good blog post.

but it turns out it isn't because he was pretty boring.

his name was alex, goes to uva, and he was drunk. oh and his major is P.E. (that's what he said), which is physical education, because it's the easiest major offered at the university. he doesn't even like children.

then he wanted us to join his table.

i would have if he had been either more drunk or more interesting.

we left.

Mankind Mayhem

well, writing about my parents is slightly more difficult now that my mom is reading this. hey mom!

but i would just like to casually mention that my mother was a pimp for halloween. i wish more than anything that i could post a picture of this.

thought i'd write tonight because i realized i had a very bizarre experience earlier.

i was entering burrus hall for a riveting biological anthropology class. there were a lot of people around, which was weird. and in the entryway there was a folding table set up with two girls behind it. one of them asked me if i would like to sign up. sign up for what? i ask.

"uh...i don't...know."

i swear the girl got abducted by aliens between those two sentences. her eyes went blank and she looked shocked that i would ask. the other girl complimented my scarf. then, in a fit of awkwardness, i booked it into my classroom. when i came out they and the table were gone.

then later, on my way to buffalo wild wings (for all you acronym-happy folk, "bdubs"), i saw about 50 people dressed in eighties clothing or wrapped in saran wrap running across south main three times and then huddling on the quad.

so, ya know.

Halloween?

well, halloween weekend was really not as badass as one would expect. but some people were still dressed to impressed...weeks before the actual holiday.

i would say kroger is the number one destination for weirdness this halloween season. there you can not only find crazy old folks that refuse to buy baked goods (when you're that old, does it even matter anymore?), but crazy other people as well.

i would like to give an honorable mention to the twenty-something of ambiguous gender dressed as a jester. keep in mind halloween weekend was a week away at the time...and it was a member of a family group of sorts, among which no one else was dressed up. it reminded me of a child refusing to take off their batman costume.

the runner-up of the past couple of weeks would be the couple emerging out of the forest on reservoir road. not on halloween. but on a road. then they started running in the other direction - probably back into the magical world from whence they came. planet earth is not ready for princess peach and the joker to be a couple.

and now the moment you've all been waiting for: the best dressed of october 2009.

note: the fabulous legs...the accessories...the...masculinity?

the best part about everything below is that this was NOT a costume. he was way too good at walking in heels. he was struttin' his stuff like nobody's business in harrisonburg's most conservative grocer (kroger). one must wonder how many old people bit the dust in the frozen food section that day. "them newfangled crossdressers..."

talent is wasted on our podunk town.

Strugpost

this blog is called biddiewatch, but i never actually talk about the ones i see...

let me just say that this girl in my class is ORANGE. she looks like an oompa loompa, or someone that was drowned in sunny delight. i can't even look at her straight because it is so alien-like. from the back she looks perfectly normal, with platinum blonde hair and juicy couture sweatpants.

this reminds me of a time i went to the movies. a girl's face was 12 different shades of tan because she was so makeup-challenged...she looked like a muddy orphan.

obviously nothing interesting has happened to me lately, but the other day when i got gas the woman who worked there came out to speak to me. she told me i was big pimpin' with a car like that. "girl, you pimpin' it! keep on pimpin' it."

she is probably my biggest fan.

shout out to originals because it's the funniest damn show in existence.

Swine Flu

today i took my friend stephanie to the hospital because she was feeling really sick. i thought i had a cold, so i decided to get checked out too.

turns out i have swine flu.

i honestly would not have gotten checked out if i didn't already have to go there.

so i'm on tamiflu. it should help decrease symptoms, but side effects include death.

...

they gave me an instructional packet and a note to miss school for 5 days. actually they forbade me to go anywhere for 5 days. the packet reminds me to wear my seatbelt.

...

and tells me what to do if i have lost my spleen.

that's not a joke.

"if you have lost your spleen...go see a doctor."

there is no hope for me.

Weather

a few nights ago i had a dream that i was in some elaborate magical place, not unlike super mario galaxy. it was imperative that my companions and i eat something in order to survive and before us appeared a 711-esque shelf. our only options were any variety of those toast-chee crackers - pb&j, cheddar peanut butter, cheese on cheese...

and they all cost the same amount. 69 cents. even large packages.

in other news, i saw my breath tonight when i stopped to get gas. go away!

My Life Is Enchanted?

what you are about to hear/see is true, although the photo quality may lead you to believe otherwise.

last week as i was traveling to my vehicle from school, i had to pass by the construction site for the performing arts building. i'm used to seeing weird things here, such as sloppy joe delivery trucks and cyborg construction men. but none of this prepared me for what happened next. i heard some scurrying, and i saw a woodland creature running away from me between tires and hunks of metal. i thought it was sonic the hedgehog at first, but then the truth was revealed.
a real, live BEAVER.
with a blue tail.
it is currently living in a burrow made from plastic pieces and tarps.
and it has a blue tail.
it is very fast.
but responds to the name quinton.

that is its head.

if you look very closely you will see its buck teeth. and BLUE TAIL. note its elaborately constructed burrow.